Anna: I got a haircut!
Eduardo: Uhmm (waving a sassy index finger), it's not a haircut. Haircuts are for boys. Hair styles are for girls!
Abby (new student): You're so pretty!
Me: Well, thanks Abby, my students do a really great job of boosting my self-confidence all the time.
Abby: It's because you're younger than the other teachers. My old teacher was really old. She was like 40!
Me: I'm actually 41.
Abby: NO WAY.
Me: We are all going to college!
Joshua: I'm not! My mom says people who go to college are stupid. I want to go to middle school, those kids are way smarter.
Principal: One of your kids brought in a HUGE cake and juice boxes for their birthday. I told the lunch ladies to calm it down because they are all freaking out. You're the one dealing with the effects of sugar, I don't know why they are complaining.
Me: Awesome, thanks for the heads up.
Aria: Are you and the principal friends? You always laugh and turn red when you see him.
Me: Sorry kiddos, no hugs this week. I have really bad sunburn.
Timmy: What's that?
Me (forgetting that all of my children are dark skinned): You don't know what sunburn is?! [Insert mini-lesson here]
Mike (during sharing): My dog pooped on my bed last night. Mom said he was leaving a special present for me.
Class: EWWWW.
Karen: So I put a beer bottle on my timeline project because when I was 4 my uncle, the one in jail, tried to give me beer. My mom told him no but when he wasn't looking, I tried some. I didn't like it though.
Tommy: YOU GOT DRUNK!
Me: Boys and girls, beer is not for children. It is very bad for you and makes you sick. Make smart choices and do not drink beer (HELLO - my kids are 7!).
Karen: I didn't try it again until I was 6. I won't do it again though!
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Earth Day Celebration!
Probably one of the most important days of the year. As an avid Ralph Nader supporter, clearly, I was out with the hippies digging clean air, environmentally-friendly ways to live, and drum-beating music. Did I mention that in high school at a political debate I had the chance to introduce Nader as the keynote speaker? Even though I may have fallen asleep during his 1.5 hour monotone speech on climate control, he will forever be my hero. During my sophomore year of HS, I even went as Ralphie for Halloween. Love.Peace.Life. My friends and I made Mother Nature proud.
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Learned how to two-step from a Canadian Cowboy downtown on Friday. Picture this: 6 foot 3 man wearing a black cowboy hat and black boots. He was by far the best dancer I've ever seen. I wish I knew the official name of any of the twirls or dance-moves that he pulled. I followed so all I really did was spin around, get dizzy, and attempt to look pretty. It didn't take long for a crowd to circle around us at Rippy's. Clearly, I was embarrassed but having too much fun to stop.
All of sudden, Nameless Canadian asked me if I was ready. Uhm.. we've been dancing for 10 minutes, what do you mean? So, like an idiot, I say Yes! Without any real warning, AT ALL, he has literally picked me up and flipped me over. My feet are above my head, I almost land on my bottom, but he catches me and it must have looked awesome for our spectators because they started applauding us! Still slightly freaked out, we kept dancing to the local band's country jams. He tells me we're doing it again, I shake my head and plead no, but nope- he flips me again. Did I mention that I most likely flashed the entire bar? As much fun as this is, I am realllllly starting to feel sick from all the spinning and flipping. At the end of the song, I curtsy and he bows.
An older couple comes up to us as we're laughing and says, "Wow, you two are amazing. How long have you been dance partners?"
Me: Uhmm.. what? Thanks ma'am but that was actually our first dance. I don't even know his name. Hey! What's your name?!
Canadian: Dustin.
Me: Well, Dustin, I didn't know Canadians knew how to two-step, thanks for the dance tonight!
Canadian: In those cold winters up north, there isn't much to do. I'm from a small town.
And then he walked away. Safe travels Canadian cowboy.
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