Since when did I sign up to teach sex ed?

I am back in the "I love teaching mode." Days like yesterday are hard, but days like today remind me why I am here. I will mention that they scored a class average of 57% on sorting common and proper nouns. This is nothing to be proud of on my end, but we are going to make some progress tomorrow. Interestingly, I finally held their attention long enough that the begged for me to not dismiss them. It made me realize that there are not nearly enough hours in the day and I need to start tutoring my low kids after school. (Like I don't already spend 12-15 hours a day at school!)

I will share some hilarious comments today made in class:

1. "Ms. W, Matt just said to me... 'wow girlfriend, you look fine!'" I did not know how to react to my tiny little ELLer talking like he was from the hood.

2. Little special Shiela's mother came to visit me this morning. Apparently Shiela told her mother that during music yesterday they watched naked bodies. She used the words "breasts" and "vagina". Now, none of you know Sheila as well as I do, but the girl can barely say a whole sentence without using the wrong word or mispronouncing something. This mildly freaked me out. Furthermore, there was a sub yesterday so who knows what happened. I went to see the music teacher to get it all cleared up and she told me they watched "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round." I explained to her the situation and she got incredibly flustered. Apparently a grown woman with grandchild cannot hear the word vagina from a 22-year old colleague. We watched the movie together during my break and realized that Shania got confused by a cartoon version of skeletons and assumed that she was staring at female genitalia instead of bones. When I called Sheila's mother after school to explain the mix-up she asked me if I felt comfortable explaining to Shiela the difference between bones and the vagina. Needless to say, I stuttered for a few moments before explaining that sex ed is a few years off for Shiela. CLARIFICATION: THERE IS NO WAY I AM TEACHING A 7 YEAR OLD SEX ED.